Meet Tiombe Preston

A feminist perspective on domestic violence

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Tiombe Preston began having feminist inclinations after graduating from high school in Long Beach, Calif. where she lived with her family. It was during her college experience at Scripps College in Claremont, Calif., however, where she realized her destiny of working with victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse. Course work in the areas of psychology and women studies helped Preston create a foundation for her future professional career.

Education

Preston began to learn and understand the tragic situations of victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual abuse during an internship while completing her bachelor’s degree at Landmark Medical Center, a locked psychiatric hospital. Her two-part internship included drama therapy and a women’s group. All of her clients had chronic, severe symptoms of psychiatric disorders and mental illness. “Many of these women had families, and were unable to see and spend time with their own children,” says Preston. After just a short time with the women’s group, the interns, including Preston, realized that all of the women in the group facility were not only diagnosed with chronic, severe mental illness, but were also victims and survivors of sexual and partner abuse, which was never before mentioned.

After her first professional job as a counselor for women victims of sexual abuse, Preston decided to further her education at California State University, Long Beach, where she received a master’s degree in counseling, with a specialization in the areas of marriage and family counseling. For the past eight years, Preston has been working with survivors of sexual assault and sexual and domestic abuse. Currently, she operates her own practice as a feminist therapist.

Current Issues

According to Preston, when the community, including professors, social service providers, courts, attorneys, judges, therapists, etc. operate on the myth that batterers can still be good fathers without proof of intervention, we are putting many survivors of domestic violence in jeopardy and subjecting children to more abuse. “What often happens is any allegation of abuse by a mother is held against her. In fact, being a survivor of abuse has been used to take children away from a mother; but the person who perpetrated the violence can have custody?”

Women are often blamed when a family falls apart and held responsible for “keeping the family together” and “protecting the kids.” Preston believes that domestic and sexual violence will end when society rejects the misogynist (characterized by the hatred of women) belief that women belong to men, including being sexually available at all times. “We must ask why he rapes her, why he beats her, why he verbally abuses her—not why does she stay?” says Preston. “If the first thing society says is ‘Why does she stay?’ then we are not in a good place to look at domestic violence.”

A Positive Examples

Preston uses her expertise in sexual abuse and assault to help benefit IDVAAC. She feels her purpose is to bring awareness of sexual abuse and assault to African-American communities and all communities in the United States. “Victims and survivors of sexual and domestic abuse go through a lot— rape, sexual abuse, and sexual torture. These issues need to be bluntly talked about if we want them to stop,” Preston says.

Being involved with IDVAAC has helped Preston advance the theories of domestic abuse in California. She believes that men need to take a bigger, active, visible role in the fight against domestic violence. She seeks collaboration with men in the antiviolence movement. “Men need to get the education and information out there in our communities. Women have been leading this work forever, and that has to be honored and respected, but women can't stop sexual abuse and domestic violence because they are rarely the perpetrators,” she says.

Using IDVAAC’s values and visions as an example in California encourages more and more men to become involved in the fight against domestic violence. “While there is a lot of violence in South East Los Angeles County, there are many small pockets of good work here,” says Preston. I use the IDVAAC program as an example of how men can do this kind of visible work here in California. The IDVAAC program is helping me to lead the way.”