Book Review:

No Secrets, No Lies shows victims how to help themselves

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ive impressive themes are depicted in No Secrets, No Lies. These include the uplifting and positive tone of the book, the culturally sensitive words that indicate the author’s knowledge of the black community, concern with the impact of sexual assault on female and male children, suggestions about how black people can utilize the criminal justice system, and the multiple resources provided for the children and adults who experience the emotionally destructive acts associated with sexual assault.

However, it is the writing style of the author that is most intriguing. Stone employs her impressive writing skills acquired as an editor of Essence, the New York Times and the Boston Globe to write realistic vignettes, stories told to her in great detail by Black victims of sexual assault, to create an air of authenticity to her work.

It is important to describe/examine the five features of the book that this reader finds noteworthy. First, one is struck by the positive tone exhibited by the author throughout the book. Each of the book’s eight chapters ends with a segment entitled, “Help Yourself:...” Repeating this two-word charge at the closing section of each chapter encourages the reader to “acknowledge what has happened to you, get the help you need to face the repercussions of your experience, and look to your future.”

Chapter one begins with a definition of the subject matter, sexual abuse. Also in the first chapter, Stone describes her sexual assault by a family member. In the remainder of the chapter she presents vignettes, which she uses to explore myths and to examine the signs of victimization. She ends the chapter by focusing her theme of self-help. She identifies questions to be asked of victims and families and proposes ways that victims can be encouraged to help themselves.

Second, the author writes in a culturally sensitive way – expressing her understanding of African-American ethnicity and culture from the perspective of one who was reared within it. She speaks about the roles of African-American men and women. She describes the roots of the silence that is accepted and encouraged among blacks intent on presenting both gender of their race (males and females) in positive ways.

The author describes the ceremonial importance of kin and non-kin familial relationships; she describes the hurt and enormous anger experienced when the abuser is a trusted relative; she also describes the tenuous support given to victims by other family members. Stone concludes chapter four by describing the importance of getting African-Centered healing — achieving reconciliation — the act of restoring and making harmonious.

The third feature exemplified is the text is Stone’s concern with the welfare of children. Because she was victimized as a black child, she is keenly aware of the hurt, embarrassment, and guilt that reveal themselves in damaging ways for children. Throughout No Secrets, No Lies, she admonishes parents to be protective of their children against predators, most of whom are family members who cannot be easily recognized.

When sexual abuse is disclosed, the author encourages parents to not become consumed in guilt and blame, but to concentrate on “acknowledging and responding in a way that protects and helps the child” (p. 123). In the Help Yourself segment at the end of chapter 5, Stone instructs the reader about how to become a proactive parent, how to respond to a child’s disclosure, and how to complete and enact The Child’s Bill of Rights.

Helping boys and men

Chapter 6, “Helping Boys and Men,” stands out in this book because it acknowledges that boys and men also are victims of sexual assault. While most of us know this to be true, often it is not discussed because of political concerns or concern about male social images. Black male victims can be especially difficult to help because of the impression that boys and men “don’t want or need help,” they should be “able to deal with it and get over it” without help. Nothing could be further from the truth. Young males experience extreme confusion and fears about becoming “gay” once they have been victimized. Homosexuality is especially feared by black male youth.

The fourth impressive feature of No Secrets, No Lies rests in how the reader is introduced to the criminal justice system. The criminal justice system is the vehicle utilized to punish sexual abusers; however, “the system. . . is far from perfect: bias, overwhelmed child protective services agencies, insensitivity to survivors, inconsistency in prosecution and sentencing” (p. 194).

The author describes in great detail the intricacies of criminal prosecution and civil suits as legal remedies for African Americans. In the Help Yourself segment of chapter 7, she writes about the difficulties of finding a lawyer, preparing to work with an attorney, and information about the Statutes of Limitations. To aid the reader, Stone provides web site information and information about national legal referral sites that can assist a reader who wishes to secure legal assistance.

In chapter 8, which is entitled “Reconciliation...and Moving On,” Stone addresses a victim’s needs for confrontation, accountability and responsibility, and finally faith and forgiveness. She reiterates and describes how important “justice” and “punishment” can be to emotional resolution and reconciliation by the victim, again using vignettes to make her points in a most effective manner.

The fifth and final feature of No Secrets, No Lies is the wealth of resources provided in the book’s last chapter. Stone provides contact information and brief descriptions of programs and organizations that can assist victims. She provides referral sources for those who seek therapeutic help of various kinds (art, music, dance, mental health, hypnosis, etc.) to help with the repercussions of sexual abuse. The chapter concludes with a bibliography of books that provide understanding and support for African-American sexual assault victims.

This well-written book is “easy reading”, and highly recommended. It should be read by everyone concerned with domestic violence and with sexual violence, since the two phenomena often walk hand-in-hand in the lives of victims and their families.